Red Tree Scribblings I

I.
Regularly since November and almost everyday since May, I've been spending a reasonable amount of time under the comfort of a big, red and a generous tree in a park close to my apartment. This is the same tree I had my first hallucinative drug under (actually I took it before and then sit under the tree). It was green then, unbelievably red now. It's such a bliss to be there. I train, play capoeira, eat and drink, read and write, and take a nap whenever I feel like it. People come and go, have a tendency to talk to me sometimes which is nice, I believe. Mostly children. According to my notes, I had Mathiew visiting me on May 11th. He can't possibly me more than 4. I was training when he saw me. Without hesitation and determination on his lovely face walked towards me, I liked it. "What's your name?" he asked. :) Never been so stupidly happy with this question, he was charming. After that he said he wants to train with me, said he likes to exercise at school; but didn't understand why I play on the grass and red flowers falling from the tree and squish them. I didn't know what to say. I said I don't know, but it feels like they like to be squished since they haven't told me otherwise (which is probably not an imaginative response but for some reason he liked me anyway). Then I did a cartwheel to show him they're not actually hurt. He didn't seem to be convinced but joined me anyway. We played a little and then he wanted me to show him how to do a handstand. So I did. Then a black puppy came; he was eager to play with us and cleaned our bare feet with his warm licks! His mom took a picture of us. I would have loved to see it.

II.
There are ants walking up and down, left and right on the tree. Everything seems to have a route. Animals seem to know instinctively, plants are perhaps destined already what life they have, did not care to know may be? What do I do for mine? I'm leaning against the tree but ants don't touch me. They feel me, accept me, it is nice to know I'm here. We don't disturb each other, we're perhaps aware of our temporary visitor's status and that the tree is kindly hosting us. Too romantic I am sometimes but this is what I wrote that day and as much as I remember the feeling that allowed me to doodle like that, I'm thankful. I remember it was a pleasant feeling to recognize the generosity of the tree and not failing to think it belonged to me; and that wherever I go there will be a tree to sit under and doodle as silly and merry as possible.

III.

A bird came around 6pm. First walked (or rather jumped) around a while, careful with not leaving the trail of shadow. Then perched on the lower branch of the tree. After a while another one came by flying; vaguely I saw but the first one startled a little bit; and I noticed its sharp reflex while trying to avoid unwanted accidents. I realized how so many things in my life as light as a flower or that bird bear numerous and potent meanings, openings, felt heavy with affection. Things as heavy as a rock, and sometimes they're beautiful too, or as monstrous as a so-called inevitable burden we see them as; might be nothing but the "imaginary rope" that is on the floor to trip us as Kafka contemplates. Things that are light but filled with the universe itself; things that are beautiful and yet heavy with nothingness. Am I high?!

The nature is what teaches me the most. Capoeira is what (or one of most prominent things that) teach(es) me to recognize my body, my potentials, my strength and passion, my will to learn and enjoy and laugh more.